FreeChineseFeminists! — A Letter to Maizi

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A Letter to Maizi

Dear Mai,
It has been 17 days since you were detained from home by the Beijing police for anti-sexual harassment events.

Since then, I count days you are away. I wish you would suddenly show up at home and surprise me. I have confidence because not only did you do nothing violating any law, but what you do is for love and justice. Because you are a lover who always keep your words, I want to believe you will come home to celebrate my 27th birthday with me, as you promised. We have planned so long for this day. Now, my biggest wish is your companionship. Remember the movie we didn’t finish that night you were taken? I won’t finish it by myself.

We made promise to each other at your birthday last year that we will be together regardless of all the challenges we need to face  in the future. I didn’t expect the challenges come so soon and so cruelly. My birthday, like we promised each other, is the date we will put work aside and spend time only with each other. We are so longing for reunion because of our long distance.

For my birthday wish, no matter where we are, we will wake up naturally in each other arms. We will hold hands to buy groceries and cook for each other. Of course, you will tease me because I’m so bad at using the knife. I want to pick blueberry cheesecake for dessert. You will sing with the ukulele for me while I’m just free writing. At night, we will walk through the busy streets or sit next to the lake. We will talk and laugh. Or suddenly we are in sweet silence. Or we will hold each other because the night is too cold. Or we will fix each other’s hair in the soft light.

I think what we want is not too much and we seem to always have good luck. Could we keep this promise? I will never forget this promise of ours. We have been too far away from home, have been too far from each other for too long. For all the places I want to travel, they are only meaningful because I am with you. To think about your warmth and strength, I can recover from all the mistreatment and be strong again.

I have been listening to the songs you sang for me:
Stars are crying in the sky, Roses are dying
The wind is cold, the wind is cold.
Bugs are flying, Flowers are falling asleep.
Only in your arms, everything can be beautiful again.
Don’t be afraid of darkness
Don’t be afraid of broken-hearts
No matter how hard it is
No matter how far it is.
Only in your arms, everything can be beautiful again.

As I write this, you are locked and tortured by the detention. You aren’t even allow to have access to lawyers. I feel like my wings were cut and rebuilt again. I lost my freedom and know how precious it is. (Translator Notes: when Maizi were detained from her home, the police detained her girlfriend as well. Later, Maizi’s girlfriend was released, and deported away from Beijing by the police. ) Lovers who are forced to separate will know how precious reunion is. We are never afraid of darkness, even though our hearts are always broken by force. At this moment, I hope to hold your hands to see the sun set. I hope this world will have a space for all people who love fearlessly.

Let me take all my memories of you with me everywhere I go. I hope my wish will come true. If not, if in any case, it doesn’t. My love, please keep our promise. No matter how bad the society and ignorant people treat us, I am always with you.

March 23rd, 2015. Love you. Aries.

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